i finished something i started:

fox, finishing a shack burger that  i started.  when i tried to take it back, he shrieked like a velociraptor.  do not come between this man and a meal.  photos courtesy of the talented kathryn, of course.

i deleted my twitter account; i just couldn't get on board with it.  why do i need the drive-thru version of facebook when i am content with the sit-down dining experience of the "old" facebook?  kinda felt like overkill.  and i don't often delete my social-networking profiles, even the ones i haven't logged onto in years... not sure why.  i have a hard time making such final commitments, i suppose.  i'm quite certain my mug is still floating around hotsaints.com somewhere.  yes, i just said that.  but twitter.  maybe if i had a blackberry or iphone or cell phone that possessed decent texting capabilities, maybe then tweeting would make more sense for me.  maybe later.  i apologize to all of my two followers.

last week i sneezed tortilla chips through my nose...

definitely not my finest moment of the week, but it made the highlight reel.

remember that one time i went to turkey and greece? here's what else happened (unedited photos -- this just needs to be finished):

discussing "mehmet okur."

europe on the left, asia on the right.

hagia sofia.

the blue mosque.

pretty istanbul.

i loved this night market in istanbul. the hanging lightbulbs were fun, and the colors were pretty.

hot dogs as a pizza topping.

save water. flush twice.

now in athens.  protesters protesting the man.

look closely; you can see the man.

ruins, ruins everywhere.

a scrumptious greek feast.

on the acropolis, the parthenon and friends.

afghani men taking pictures with my son.

japanese women taking pictures with my son. 

a mother's day brunch with an acropolytic (word?) view.

temple of poseidon.

fox's favorite part of the trip.

homeward bound.

write what you know

when i don't do this blog stuff for a while, apathy starts creeping in.  but i feel like i need to write... the thought reservoir in my brain is about to break and send the little dutch boy with his finger in the dam into the next life.  so here's what i know:

1.  i know that i love not being sick.  last month i was sicker than i've been since high school -- flat on my back, dizzy, vomiting, fevering, uncontrollable hacking, swine flu sick.  the doctor said it wasn't the swine flu. what does he know.  that wasn't a question.  i lived, in case you were wondering.  in reality it probably wasn't so bad, but matt was out of town when it struck, and i would have poked my eyes out with a spoon had the little boy taken ill.  mercy shone down on us that week... fox miraculously eluded infection, and he decided that he likes the taste of hand sanitizer (read: alcohol).  

2.  i know that i sort of love orange county.  the smell of blossoms wafts through the air, the beach is close, people drive cars to super target, there is a super target, and the local trader joe's is EMPTY (next time i go to the union square trader joe's here in nyc, i'm taking a picture of the crowded aisles -- navigating that joint with a stroller is like trying to push a coffin through the general admission section of a stones concert).  we had to travel to the county of orange for a family wedding, and whilst there, the thought of returning to new york city kind of made my stomach hurt, which leads me to the next thing i know: i know that i can't live in a big city long-term.  i think part of me would die a little, and i'm certain i would die young from black lung.  but for now, i love new york.  our time here will be over much too soon. 

i know fox really loved orange county, too:

cousins.

fox stealing his cousin's snack.

3.  i know i have good friends.  everywhere.

4.  i know that i won't be reading lauren conrad's fiction novel about a girl whose life is plastered all over a reality television show.  oh lauren.  i kind of thought you were smart for a second.  quit while you're ahead.  

5.  i know there is an erin burton in british columbia who isn't getting some of her emails.  i'm trying to set things straight, erin; i really am.  some of the senders are repeat offenders, even after i give them the heads up about the wrong address.  i'm starting to wonder if the canadian erin burton gives out my email as a bogus email, like a fake phone number.  do you think i want to deal with the poor schmucks you're trying to fade-out, girlfriend? not cool, erin.  not cool.  there's also another erin burton floating around out there with relatives living somewhere in the dirty south.  i sometimes get family email updates intended for said erin asking me to pray for a sick brother and for an uncle who knocked over a drug store.  i kind of like those emails.

turkeygreece breather.

"i'm going to play the word hand because it's pithy and strong."  -- matthew j. burton, a morning in april, 2009

i've decided i'm going to keep a notebook and pen by my bedside so each morning i can record the awesomely creative first words that stumble out of matt's mouth.  his A.M. gibberish has produced insightful comments regarding professional wrestling moves, iran, and mathematical formulas.  hmm... pithy?  really?  i don't think i've used the word pithy even in wakefulness.  ever.  he's been playing a lot of online scrabble lately.

the kindle.  here's what i think about it: sad, sad, sad.  i kind of hope it dies, and i'm usually pro-gadgetry.  the whole concept feels very eerie, very fahrenheit 451-ish.  so... sterile?  cold?  what's the word i'm searching for?  soulless?  nothing can replace the feeling of a good "page-turner" in your hands... dog-eared pages, scribbles in the margins, writing your name in the cover... and something tells me that falling asleep with the kindle on your chest could potentially cause cancer.  

and for about an hour every morning, direct sunlight streams through one of the four windows in our apartment.  this is usually where the boys can be found:

upon arrival.

after a full 24 hours of transcontinental air travel, fox decided to make himself comfortable by stripping down to the huggies and going straight for matt's speedo (which matt uses strictly for swimming laps, i assure you).

the fair city of istanbul.

the blue mosque (where we answered the call in the previous post).

the hagia sophia, completed in 537 AD, has been a basilica, a mosque, and now a museum.  it was quite possibly my favorite part of the trip.  here's a peek inside...

oh how delightful; they put up the scaffolding just for us.

i really love the 6th century AD floors.  

worn marble floors intrigue me... how many thousands of people have walked through these doors?

muslims believe that in mosques it is sinful to display images of people, so when the hagia sofia was transformed into a mosque in the 15th century, all the original christian mosaics in the basilica were plastered over, and these gigantic shields, displaying names of islamic prophets, were hung.

some of the recovered mosaics... beautiful.  the mosaic tiles were interspersed with jewels to give the mosaic images movement.

a bit of chipped away plaster to reveal the original mosaic ceiling.

the entire ceiling of this joint was once covered in mosaic tiles.  that's cool.

the hagia sophia: extremely cool.  a must see.

spice market.  my nostrils tickle just thinking about it.  turkish saffron, garam masala and a kebab spice were purchased.

fox, learning to nap in a backpack.  he mastered this art by day two.

and turks sort of loved fox...

restauranteur turk and stray turk.

old turk.

young turk (we went through two bottles of hand sanitizer).

turk with camera.

turk sunset.

now, off to upload more pictures... it's my absolute most favorite thing to do.  ever.

call and answer.

we've been answering the call.  in istanbul.

back now.  more later.  must sleep.

okay. now what?

i'm gonna chalk this one up to not getting out much this week.  this could either be a stroke of genius or possibly the worst impulse buy ever.  i just ebayed myself into 469 of these uglies:

used marquee letters, numbers and symbols.

being cooped up = lots of time to think = maybe some ideas.  hold me to this one... follow through erin... stay tuned, i guess.

germ activity.

to the croup:  i surrender.  mercy.  i give.  i beg of you.  por favor.  uncle.  UNCLE.

today i was peed on, spat on, thrown up on, drooled on, sneezed on... my poor, sweet little guy; it's not his fault. but if i'm not ill within 48 hours, it will be a christmas miracle.

and while we're on the topic, let's discuss the pig flu.  my dear, dear mexico city friends: please stay healthy.  let me just say this: i think the fates are trying to reveal something to me, or someone upstairs has a really sick sense of humor.  three of the last four cities i've lived in have had animal disease outbreaks: hk, mexico city, and now new york.  and for those of you who know me well, you know i sort of unhealthily obsess over diseases, public health scares, lead paint on window sills, etc.  i can't even watch E.R. without pulling up the interweb and making sure i'm not dying of whatever they're dishing up.  i'm all over that google-self-diagnosing stuff... like a rat on a cheeto.  cheetoh?  meh.

upon returning home from a weekend trip to mainland china, back in the good ol' days of life in hong kong, i was convinced that i had contracted the bird flu after a live duck shared a row with me on a public bus.  i'm sure the poor animal was on its way to someone's dinner plate.  the chinese bird flu scare nuked my brain so entirely that just the other day when i saw gunther shoving his nose in bird feces, i immediately took him inside the apartment, thoroughly wiped his snout and paws then quickly decided my fear wouldn't subside until i bathed him.  taking paranoia to new and very interesting levels.

so although i really don't know anything about this recent pig thing, it almost goes without saying that you won't be finding bacon 'round my place for a while.  we're going kosher.

sometimes it's nice...

to have a quiet, romantic dinner alone and remember why you fell in love in the first place.

behold, the sweetheart roll. it tasted a lot better than my poor skills portrayed it.

but i brought along goldfish and a few toys just in case he acted up during dinner.

life is good with you, mjb.  happy fourth anniversary.  kisskisskiss.

how we roll.

photo: kathryn whiting

to all the ladies haulin' your maclarens, your bugaboos, your stokkes and quinnys up and down those subway stairs, this is my internet nod of solidarity.  if our hands weren't full of stroller, i would give you a chest bump.  i feel you hermanas.  who needs the gym?  we're so hard, you don't even know.  we earn those magnolia cupcakes. motherhood in manhattan will put hair on your chest.

slurpee weather.

grocery shopping here is a bit of a logistical nightmare.  i'm grateful for the stroller on which to sling my bags and a heavyweight son to anchor my purchases, but it's a careful system of checks and balances.  only once have the groceries overtaken my strollered son... tipped the poor lad backwards in the middle of the aisle.  fox: 68; groceries: 1.  yesterday evening while hauling my goods home, one of my bags ripped wide open in the middle of an intersection, littering the street with fresh produce.  had i not been nursing a delicious cherry fanta and coke slurpee, i may have stressed out about the situation.  instead i just kind of chuckled, played with my straw and watched as three kind strangers gathered my groceries and wheeled fox to the curb.  doh dee doh.  gee, thanks guys.

but even the grocery episode couldn't have ruined my saturday.  it had been nearly perfect.  high of 79 degrees.  sunny.  slurpee weather.   

 

great day for the central park zoo.  the petting zoo was obviously a big hit.

fox and his favorite second cousin once removed, mike, playing a little lacrosse at central park.

a day of my life in the town where i live.

fox and i went to a j. crew sample sale today; it's something we do on occasion.  i've decided fox is no longer invited to come to sample sales.  you see, you must check your stroller (aka restraining device) at the door, which leaves me to tote master fox on my hip, which is becoming increasingly more difficult now that he's quite steady on his feet and eager to get into trouble.  so while shopping, to take fox's mind off the fact that he was being held in my arms in a room full of bright and beautiful things to grab, i handed him a hanger to play with, which ten seconds later he jabbed in my eye.  next i tried letting him ride on my shoulders, but he quickly realized he was no longer in reach of the fine textiles and angrily started to throw himself off his perch.  things quickly deteriorated from there, and he was back in the stroller rolling out the door before his seat had a chance to cool off.

and on the way home, at 37th and 7th to be precise, i spotted a food cart named "meal o'bama." (hmm, i didn't know barack was irish...?)  i didn't get a good look at the cart, so i can't tell you if sasha chicken nuggies or biden burgers were on the menu.  new york city is obsessed with obama paraphernalia, almost as much as dallas was (is?).  the day after the election, at my local wal-mart in irving, i remember seeing two women proudly sporting black, gold and bejeweled barack t-shirts.  obama is the new black.  no pun intended.

completely unrelated topic: i'm not much of an american idol fan, but i've decided i probably should watch it religiously if i want to thoroughly enjoy my new favorite thing on the internet, idolatry.  if you're even the slightest bit salty and only watch american idol commercials, i suggest you go here.

stuff that makes me nervous.

1.  when the video delivery guy comes to the door (even though i called for a delivery), and i'm by myself.

2.  when angry shouting breaks out on the street below, and i'm by myself.  

3.  cockroach poop.

i love new york, i love new york, i love new york...

close encounters with famous people, no. 3:

caroline rhea.

the encounter:  just another saturday afternoon at the upper west side shake shack. caroline was sitting on one of the outside benches, smiling, eating... her baby was parked in a nearby stroller.  i would've snuck a picture, but i thought i'd exercise self-control on her behalf... let's just say i don't think she was expecting paparazzo.  and shack burgers demand your full attention.

bonus:  i almost said, "hi caroline," cos she smiled right at me as if she knew me.  she looks like one of those folks with a permanent happy face.  i like that.

encounter rating: 3/5 stars.

burger: 4/5 stars.

you know you've got problems...

when you find a chewed up piece of your son's turkey dinner in your underwear. i don't even know.

other than that, it was a first-rate day in the city:

buds on the trees!  that's the seinfeld diner in the bottom left corner.

we walked.  and walked.  and aly ditched her shoes for a while.

we made our son beg while we flashed the money shot.  it's honest work.

i can't account for matt's actions, but my toe touch is off the hook.  you can't coach that.

fox sampled this season's hottest trends in women's accessories.  he approved.

funeral potatoes and green jello salad.

funeral potatoes and ham, a skeen family easter tradition.  what truly makes this picture a real treat (i googled funeral potatoes and this beaut popped up) is the paper plate on which the dish is served.  i think it was intended for authenticity purposes... the integrity of the meal is ruined if served on fine china.  you better believe i'm making this awesome garbage for easter dinner, complete with green pistachio jello and cool whip salad (a little pistachio/salmonella scare ain't gonna ruin my holiday).

matt's classmates are a diverse bunch.  his study group of five is made up of a korean, an argentine, a belgian, matt and a fellow american.  it's quite fun to get to know everybody and their respective significant others, and we've been doing so over dinner.  ethnic dinners.  last weekend we had korean barbecue, something i'd never had before, and it was scrumptious.  where have you been all my life, korean food?  next we've got argentine steaks up to bat, belgian fries on deck and philly cheese steaks in the hole.  yum, i heart diversity.  

matt and i are at the back of the hosting line, for which i'm grateful... what in the world could we pass off as ethnic utahn food?  presentable, GOOD ethnic utahn food?  something of which i can be proud?  we aren't exactly a sophisticated bunch, culinarily speaking.  i don't think i'd feel comfortable feeding a cream of soup casserole to our cultured friends, and although mormon muffins with honey butter are delicious, i'm not so sure those would count as a meal.  i thought maybe cafe rio pulled pork burritos would be a good idea.  they're always a crowd pleaser, the recipe will feed a small fiefdom, and all utahns seem to love cafe rio.  anybody have any bright ideas?  please?  utah food?  somehow i just can't think past squeaky cheese, homemade rootbeer, and sherbet-sprite cocktails.  maybe we should pretend we're texans.

eating your feelings:

i'm kind of a pro at it, so it's a good thing pommes frites isn't right next door, else in the wake of the last post's emotional instability, i probably would've consumed my weight in ketchup-slathered complex carbs.

my friend laura was visiting last week, and we wandered to east village to sample the deep fried wonders of pommes frites, a tiny, chalet-looking joint dedicated to belgian fries. is your left side starting to tighten up? just wait. the fries were tasty, but what really made us happy were the fifteen or so dipping sauces in which to dip the fries.  saaaaauuuuuce.

the fry cooks let us taste test to our little hearts' desires. we ended up taking the plunge with the sun-dried tomato mayo and smoked eggplant mayo. two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

photo compliments of laura's phone.  as soon as my technological problems are solved, i will have 30 days of solid blogging, photos included.

your fresh, piping hot fries are served to you in a paper cone, and the tables at PF have holes cut in them in which to place your cone. crazy delicious and functional.

in other news: i had an apple today.

sometimes i have guilty feelings about eating garbage. i lay down until those feelings go away.

somebody hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.

do you ever have days where you feel like you have utterly failed as a parent?

today fox found a window sill and decided to bite it.

a few tiny bits of paint chipped off into his mouth.

my internal panic meter shot from a stage 3 "elevated" to a stage 5 "meltdown," and i scraped out fox's mouth, wiped his teeth with a cloth, then shoved my finger down his throat to induce vomiting as a last ditch effort to keep him lead-free.

he puked, then cried, then hugged me and wiped his mouth in my hair.

okay, that's fair.

i'm so sorry baby, i feel horrible... about the whole thing.

i order a shack burger, sans the cheese...

...because master fox is allergic to milk, and what's mine is his, and what's his is his.

still delicious though.

i love when matt suggests we eat out as opposed to when i suggest it (which is almost a permanent state of being). i also love when matt ditches his homework to come hang out with us... makings of a good weekend.

spring training.

spring is here, for a minute, at least. i felt a bit naked yesterday, walking around without wearing a coat or jacket. it was delightful. a few of us celebrated the 60-something degree weather with a picnic in the park.  fox ate more dirt than lunch.