under pressure (or not).

great song, but it just ain't the same without bowie

bathing, for all of us here at casa de burton, is slightly laborious.  for fox, it's a 12 hour process.  i boil 2 potfuls of water, let them cool in a small, plastic bucket overnight, boil one more potful of water in the morning to warm the purified water back up again, plop my butterball into the water-filled bucket and watch his girth displace half of the water onto the floor.  then i try to suds-up and rinse off the slippery christmas ham as quickly as possible before he wriggles out of my grasp and blubbers out of the bucket and onto the bathroom tile.  let's just say that fox's baths have gone from every other day to maybe twice per week.

bathing for matt and me became much more pleasant once we figured out that if you want a hot shower, the kitchen faucet must be running full-blast on hot in order to keep the gas lit and heat flowing.  now, if we could just figure out how to get more than a trickle out of the showerhead.  until recently i never fully appreciated what a luxury water pressure is.  down mexico way i need an extra 10 to 15 minutes in the shower just to ensure i've rinsed off thoroughly.  i'm considering eliminating hair conditioning from my routine altogether.  washing cream rinse from your hair with nothing more than a weak drizzle is like trying to water the white house south lawn with a dippy watering can.  my hair often emerges from the shower with a cakey, wet (when it's dry) look -- completely counter-productive, and the grunge-look left when kurt cobain took it with him.

i've never considered myself hygienically challenged, but these high maintenance showers have driven me to look forward to bathtime about as much as a 7-year-old boy, so please forgive me if i smell like one.


Bill Gates II said...

Erin just think of the stories you will get to tell Fox when he grows up. He is just a little baby and has experienced more than some experience in their whole lives. I love your stories. You are so lucky to be able to see the world. And what a wonderful mother you are. I think Fox is sooo lucky to have you. I look forward to reading about your adventures. They definately brighten my day.

Scott & Lindsay said...

skeener. you are a breath of fresh air. you're hilarious. i'm glad you have the ability to laugh in all situations you're put in. thanks for having all of these challenges for the entertainment of all who read your blog. i love you much friend. i'm hungry for a chat.

shannon said...

dear erin,
kudos on your hard work maintaining hygiene, but even more so on your sharp wit. your blog is the stuff dreams are made of.

hilary said...

clever title, i like it:) i would like to see the whole routine of bathing foxworth! you need to see mamma mia, sister. i wish you could've seen it with us tonite. miss you lots!

Sherwoods said...

You crack me up. We totally just bathe Zach in the water here. Our challenge is we don't have any bathtubs in our apartment! Thank heavens for large showers and a kiddy swimming pool. Our bath times have also greatly diminished...especially with a growing belly, I can't bend over to get to him!

We had fun yesterday. Thanks for coming with us. We need to hit up the pewter store!

Mardi and Jeremey said...

Erin, I could do nothing but sit in a hole and read your blog all day and I know I would still be completely fulfilled in life. You are the funniest girl I know (and I barely know you outside the blog world)! Don't feel bad about bathing Fox. I bath Becks every other day, if that. And as for conditioner, move on, try some spray in stuff maybe. We can mail you some if you need is too. I would feel like I am doing something very important and service-ful. I keep telling Jer we need to take another trip to Mexico and hang out with you guys. One day.

Brooke said...

you are so funny and can i say a very clever writer. love the stories...keep them coming.

Skankstas said...

I just stumbled on to your blog, and I'm glad I did. Very funny. Love it.

old me.