1.04.2009

"hi, my name is erin. let me introduce you to the planet growing on my cheek."

chalk it up to the stress of the move, the change in climate, or my lack of sleep, but whatever the source, my complexion has taken on some serious pubescent characteristics (read: i've got a scorching case of acne).  it looks like someone chucked a handful of gravel at my face.  and i'm trying to not be superficial here, but why did this have to happen during my first week here in our new place?  when i wanted to make that fabulous first impression that makes people want to invite me into their little social circles, not to be wary of me because they're afraid that the healthy rash on my face might be contagious?  yesterday at church when i would meet someone, i would self-consciously try to present the relatively clear side of my mug so the mother-ship of all pustules parked on my left cheek wouldn't be such a distraction to conversation.  it's like that stain commercial where the stain on the shirt is talking over the person wearing the shirt... you don't notice what the person is saying because you're too busy staring at the huge, screaming ketchup spill (or in my case, the festering orb).

and i'm not fishing for pity, just appreciate --the himdaddy zit is epic.  it balks at the mere sight of cover-up.  it's the kind where you lean down to pick something up and you notice the thing starts to painfully throb, like it's got its own circulatory system up in there or something. 

and i had fasting breath.  can i please have a do-over?

18 comments:

Mardi said...

That happened to me too - then for some reason i though, maybe it is from Eli's slobbber. I stopped letting him slobber on my face and it went away. sounds crazy, I know, but it is true.

mandalynette said...

oh...i appreciate, my friend!!! i hate himdaddy zits! my festering orbs tend to setup camp right in the middle of my forehead. at least you can turn a good side to your victims. my epic battles stare its victims straight in the eyes...there are rarely any survivors. cheers...to past, present, and future battles...hopefully the worst is over! ;)

Mommydew said...

Oh man, my sides hurt! And I am totally laughing with you not at you. Your writing couldn't be funnier on this one! Love the post! And don't worry you are so lovable, who wouldn't want you in their circle?!

Brien said...

Poor Fox. How's he supposed to make new friends with a mother like that?

Carlee Hoopes said...

That's about when I just skip out on church. I'm sure those on high would completely understand. :)

Kirk said...

Ah the days...somehow they have passed for me..however, I do remember many a day in Herr Rowley's class that I had purposefully donned the ball cap to cover up the Large AAA Grade Egg-shaped blorp on the forehead. Had to take the hat off in Herr's class, leading to two things, the famous seat in the back and the "may-or-may-not-be-true" story that someone had hit me over the head with a ball bat. In all honesty, I got dozens of people to believe the mass was a result of a near fatal accident on the ball field. I didn't feel one bit bad about the lie either. I think as a matter of simpathy I actually got some pretty hot action from it.

Melanie Williams said...

that sounds unforgiveable on the UES. You poor thing.

i'm h.mac said...

i had more of a teen complexion after i had kids than i ever did during high school. mine always hits during pregnancy and after nursing, ALWAYS! and i HATE sunday halitosis, ughh.....

Jake and Jana Chambers said...

When I was pregnant my complexion hit rock bottom..i'm still dealing with the after math of my need to pick at them.. but i understand how you feel, I felt like I wanted to constantly explain to people that it was because I was pregnant and not practicing bad hygiene! Good luck.. and sorry

Chelsi said...

go to a dermie stat. at least it wasn't on your wedding day! i had one fondly referred to as, "the wedding crasher." bastard.

Jami said...

Those stain commercials are hilarious. I feel ya on the mountainous zit thing, I had one last week. It may be too late for this one, but I found some great mild glycolic acid peel on ebay for about $7.

Mardi and Jeremey said...

Don't you love how life goes? Of course you get a big nasty zit your first week. Life would be too simple if things like that didn't get in our way.

Starley Family said...

well it's nice to know even the beautiful ones have a rare blemish...just kidding. You are so witty and delightful I doubt anyone will even notice. Make a point to attend everything under the sun, wear your brilliant smile and sweet little Fox, and your new friends will come pouring down!

Noelle said...

erin, you're killing me. i can't even comment right now i'm laughing so hard.

this reminds me... when we first arrived to mexico, i had just had lasik surgery and the whites of my eyes were a vampire-scary red. i didn't talk to anyone that first month without mumbling and looking down at my feet so they wouldn't run away screaming. just in case you were wondering why you didn't know me then. if i seemed rude, it was only because i was doing you a favor.

so as for these potential amigos, invite 'em over, break out your expert level rockband skills, show 'em your blog and foxxy's chubba-hubba thighs. they'll be vying for team burton in record tiempo. :)

hot garlic said...

Okay, this is hilarious. You're some kind of wizard or genius or something with words. You need to be published.

Scott & Lindsay said...

ditto to "Mommydew" ... my sides are hurting as well. seriously. you kill me.

hilary said...

oh man, seriously. that was hilarious. i read this when you first posted it, but was reading it again for a good laugh while i'm at work! i hope it is gone by now. along with the roaches... mom told me. sorry sister.

audrey said...

ohhh dying : ) DYing.

well. i moved into my ward PREGNANT. and almost due. so... you know exACTly how social butterfly-y i was: light on my feet and everything...

(this is noelle's sister by the way : ) yes, it wasn't enough to come all the way to ny to knock on your door, now i'm blog-stalking you).

old me.