to the croup: i surrender. mercy. i give. i beg of you. por favor. uncle. UNCLE.
today i was peed on, spat on, thrown up on, drooled on, sneezed on... my poor, sweet little guy; it's not his fault. but if i'm not ill within 48 hours, it will be a christmas miracle.
and while we're on the topic, let's discuss the pig flu. my dear, dear mexico city friends: please stay healthy. let me just say this: i think the fates are trying to reveal something to me, or someone upstairs has a really sick sense of humor. three of the last four cities i've lived in have had animal disease outbreaks: hk, mexico city, and now new york. and for those of you who know me well, you know i sort of unhealthily obsess over diseases, public health scares, lead paint on window sills, etc. i can't even watch E.R. without pulling up the interweb and making sure i'm not dying of whatever they're dishing up. i'm all over that google-self-diagnosing stuff... like a rat on a cheeto. cheetoh? meh.
upon returning home from a weekend trip to mainland china, back in the good ol' days of life in hong kong, i was convinced that i had contracted the bird flu after a live duck shared a row with me on a public bus. i'm sure the poor animal was on its way to someone's dinner plate. the chinese bird flu scare nuked my brain so entirely that just the other day when i saw gunther shoving his nose in bird feces, i immediately took him inside the apartment, thoroughly wiped his snout and paws then quickly decided my fear wouldn't subside until i bathed him. taking paranoia to new and very interesting levels.
so although i really don't know anything about this recent pig thing, it almost goes without saying that you won't be finding bacon 'round my place for a while. we're going kosher.