matt's flight back into town was cancelled last night. this is the second time he's had a dallas-bound cancellation this week. so, shoot, since nothing compliments disappointment better than a big fat side of self-loathing, i thought i'd take the kids to chick-fil-a for dinner.
there's something about hauling your two small children to a fast food joint BY YOURSELF that really makes you feel like a piece of trash. at least when you do the drive-thru you maintain some anonymity: grab your gut-ache-in-a-bag and take it back to your den of iniquity. but getting your meal "to stay?"... fellow patrons quietly judging you as you shovel waffle fries down your kids' throats... "lady. go home and give those babies some vegetables. lemonade is not a fruit."
and what's really sick about the whole thing is that fox thinks this business of going inside to eat in the "dining room" is such a privilege. he showers me with hugs and innocent toddler elation when i tell him what i'm about to do to him. anguished sigh--i'm going straight to hell.
and this morning i decided to do taebo for the first time in coughayearcough since i could still feel that chicken sandwich chirping from the night before. and of course i round-house kicked indie in the face. of course i did. i turned around just in time to see her go sailing through the air and shriek in pain/total fear. tears ensued (and another round of self-loathing), but she walked away with only her tender little girl feelings maimed.
Should I feel bad that Chick-fil-lay was our dinner last night? Fries are a vegetable, right?
I'm going to sing you a song from Annie & then tell you that I have a bag of seasoned waffle fries in my freezer.
We should start some kind of kid friendly recipe swap. This week has been a bust for me in the kitchen with a toddler. 'Mama pancakes, pancakes...'
there is NO SHAME in going to Chik Fil A. None at all. Those little nuggets of chicken are the best thing that has happened to the fast food industry.
i'm dying. DYING. the visual image of you delivering a saucy little roundhouse kick straight into indie is just too much. i'm having flashbacks of lucha libre and those midget sidekicks. now see, if you move to h-town, we could do chik-fil-a together and perhaps feel a little less sell-out-ish. there's power in numbers.
this story will never get old. never. i just had another hearty laugh. thanks, eb.
and dining in at cfa? no shame in that. none at all. that is one classy joint. does yours have a snack stand filled with little cups of cheerios and wet wipes? love that place.
on the bright side, it appears you have a very nice chick-fil-a. is that an inspirational quote on the wall, gleaming on silver against accent lighting? i believe it is. i also believe it inspired the group leader behind fox to give some sort of uplifting speech. also, i pretty much lived on happy meals. and you know what, they STILL make me happy. indie won't remember the pain of the incident in a few years, but what she will remember is that her mother is a bad ass!
*something to make you smile: when belle was small enough to fit inside her crocodile hot pink purse and i was young enough to have said purse without questioning myself, we took her inside kfc to pick up our order for a park picnic. we were immediately assaulted by a 400 pound woman with a thick southern accent who said, "where I come from, we don't bring dogs inside fancy restaurants." i then notified her that where i come from, kfc is, well, kfc. ah, the joys of the "dining room."
i can't stop laughing....
I'm saving your email for sad days when I need a little pick-me-up. Seriously. Maybe best ever. (Sorry, Indie)
poor indie, i feel bad because i just laughed at her expense. that is too funny! let's meet at a cfa somewhere in the middle next time. :)
if you are going to hell, then i am the ruler there and my children's heart disease and type II diabetes will haunt me on my throne. great post, erin! the image of indie flying is so sad, yet so very very funny!
I'm afraid to ask what category I'd be classified in if the described event is less of a story and more of a routine for us... minus the taebo. Shame...
On the upside, I have never round-house-kicked any of my kids across the room. But perhaps that is only because I've never kicked high enough for it to be considered a round-house kick. [the shame is mounting. time to stop.]
i love your way with words. the visual of sweet little I... glad she is ok. is fox already playing baseball? next time i would like to see you in one of your videos as well.
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