2.06.2008

this ever happened to you? or, chinese manners: a catch-22

1. while innocently walking along, has anyone blatantly plowed you over? they're walking straight towards you -- perhaps oblivious of your existence, perhaps not -- so you move to avoid them, but their course alters to meet yours, like they're goal in life is to hit you? and a second too late you realize you must have missed the memo inviting you to play a human game of chicken?

2. ever been so obviously stared at that you get self conscious and start to double check that you're all zipped, buttoned, or fastened up? not dragging any toilet paper along with you? start to do that thing where you pretend to itch your nose but really you're trying to nonchalantly root your finger around up there to make sure you don't have a dangler? okay, look, i know i'm the size of a buick and that fascinates you; i've finally just started to stare back.

3. anyone ever told you you looked like a famous person, and you weren't sure if you should be flattered or insulted? oh, you think so? ...thanks?

4. while grocery shopping, ever heard someone on the next aisle over loudly wrangling with something in their nose/throat region, turn the corner to make sure the person doesn't need resuscitating, and find little grandma completely oblivious of the sounds she's making?

8 comments:

Dana said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE!!!!! ;) I know it's been past for you for some time now, but I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. Hope you had a great day!

kate said...

i'm there with ya on the getting stared at due to the burgeoning midsection during pregnancy. a little girl even insulted me in spanish and got smacked on the head by her mom. you're almost there though, yay! and you look awesome. hope you had a happy birthday, too.

Nayt said...

:)

Happy birthday Erin :)

hilary said...

oh i'm sorry, sister. reading that kind of made me sad! but don't worry i've experienced all of them, except i'm not sure about #4. that one was pretty hilarious i must say! the chinese sound lovely...

Ashlee said...

Hey thanks to Dana, I now know your bday is Feb 7th. Thanks Dana, what a nice blogger.
Gotta love the older folks, not shame, no shame at all.

The Pacini's said...

you crack me up! The staring issue is bad for you now, but in a few weeks, you'll be wishing people would just stare at you, rather than touch your baby. Prepare yourself...

shmelly said...

happy birthday 2 days late! (sorry) man, you're old... i totally agree with pacini. first thing people go for are babys hands and cheeks. grrrr.

Scott & Lindsay said...

yes, i think all 4 of those examples have happened to me. and to most people. i hopefully that lends some comfort. and you know my feelings about the famous person you're referring to. take my word for it, not some chick who barely knows you.

old me.