i could not sleep last night.
the insomnia was probably due to one (or all) of the following reasons:
1. my dinner of chili and my third trimester pregnant belly were slugging it out. glub, glub, yuck.
2. my chipped nail polish was quietly taunting me to chisel it off.
3. the angry feelings in my heart were festering toward the dirtbag who stole one of my pumpkins (my pretty, spray painted copper-colored pumpkin) from my doormat. restating for effect: stolen not from my outside porch -- from my DOORMAT. inside my locked apartment building. it kind of takes the idea of ripping off somebody's pumpkins to new and disturbingly intimate levels because the guilty party is probably somebody i know or have seen. so and who had the audacity?? to steal from the pathetic looking pregnant woman in the third floor walk-up? was it one of my neighbors? the chatty and seemingly friendly UPS guy? or hector, the super, who thinks i'm a total idiot for calling in a work order to have the pilot light on my gas stove re-lit (if he knew this story, he'd understand)?
so, at 3 o'clock in the morning, desperate for sleep and wanting to shake the feelings of violation, i fought back with the fine blade of my lexicon:
i'm sure the white one will be gone within 24 hours.