bullet blogging.

A. today i woke up to a can opener and a can of cranberry sauce in my face. "beans, momma. i want beans." for breakfast? "yes!"

2. if you ever catch me buying butterscotch chips at the grocery store, please slap me on the mouth and remind me that my absolute lack of self control will guarantee that those chips will never even come close to the recipe for which they are intended. aren't they straight lard?

D. one day this old woman with orange hair, orange lipstick and shades decided to play citizen's arrest on me. i was in the empty lobby of my doctor's office's building, about ready to sit in an isolated corner and nurse indie before we trekked back home, and geriatric nancy drew skulked out of some dark hallway, telling me i can't sit there because it's against the rules...

i'm just going to quickly nurse my baby and leave.

well you can't do that here, you have to go outside.

i was under the impression i can nurse anywhere in this city.

well you can't in here. this is a private residence. those are the rules. it's against the rules.

so you're going to deny my tiny baby food because it's against the rules?

those are the rules. you have to leave.

well, that's very unkind of you.

trying to maintain my cool, i proceeded to leave, but nancy beat me to the door to try to sic the doorman on me and have me removed. i got the distinct, non-verbal impression from the doorman, who was kind to me earlier in the day, that this woman was a few cards short of a deck and complained a lot about a lot of things. in my heart i celebrated a teensy personal victory as he tried to ignore her.

4. blogging everyday? until may 26th? here's my attempt.


Lori said...

ooo i would LOVE erin blogging everyday!!

k. said...

Matt talked you out of it, didn't he? You know of what I speak.

noelle said...

i think i've met this lady before. orange hair, orange lipstick, two stones away from insanity. if she had a russian accent, it would seal the deal.

and blogging every day? yes, please!

noelle said...

oh and can i comment on your non-bullet bullets? i love.

Jill said...

i love your writing/blogging. yes please. i can't believe that nancy drew. i would have been so frustrated.

Abbie said...

nancy! i'm gonna hunt you down.

oh, the crazies! love 'em love 'em.

Anonymous said...

"geriatric nancy drew" :P haha you kill me erin!

hilary said...

jerk. i don't think i would've stayed that cool or nice. it's a good thing i wasn't there.

beans for breakfast? hilariously cute that he brought the can opener to you.

and blogging every day? wow you're ambitious - i don't think i could do it. but i heart your posts, so yes please! :)

Jill said...

i loved these "bullets", and hate nancy.

and who wouldn't want beans for breakfast? you have one smart kid on your hands.

old me.