see these flashy little hotpants (hotpants as a noun, not adjective/noun combination)?
i was hoping they'd turn out more like these (you know, to compliment fox's chiseled physique):
but instead, fox is now the proud owner of these awesomely tubular biker shorts. i believe the manufacturer of this garment actually broke into my parents' basement, dug through the clothes-you-keep-for-halloween-costumes box, slapped a price tag on these babies and resold them to me because, so help me, i owned the exact same pair of uglies back in 1989.
okay buddy, mom's done humiliating you for the good of the blog. you can take off the preteen girl shorts now.