2.19.2009

wise old soul.

it was just one of those days, and my tears hit hard and fast.  neither fox nor i saw them coming.


this picture may mislead you.  rearranging books doesn't phase me in the slightest and did not trigger said meltdown.  this happens everyday at 9:00 AM, 1:00 PM, and sometimes 5:00 PM... you can almost set your watch by it.  instead, this picture portrays almost exactly the state foxman was in when he realized i was losing it: half-clothed, re-cataloging our church literature, pausing from his work to study the strange noises coming from his mother.

he stared at me.
i waved through my tears and told him hello.
he stared at me.
i sobbed.

then i watched out of the corner of my eye as he abandoned his project and crawled towards me.

he climbed into my lap, wrapped his short, pudgy arms around my neck and squeezed.

more tears.
more sobbing.
more of this, please.

16 comments:

Jenilyn said...

erin...are you ok?

kate said...

what a good boy. my children keep me sane. (or maybe they make me crazy.) hope your good cry helped.

i'm h.mac said...

oh honey,

i had an entire month like that out there. i was so close to the phone call to janet telling her this momma couldn't do it. it gets so miserable there in the winter. it'll be good when it passes, come home if you need. clark uses visa when you use tears......

Kathryn said...

I know I might be rushing things here, but I love you & your sweet little boy, & I'm glad (& blessed) that you're my friends.

xo

Abbie said...

i love those hugs. sometimes eli will ask "mommy okay? mommy need big hug?" it just makes everything okay. let those tears fall, sista, let them fall.

Starley Family said...

Oh I am sorry to hear you were having one of those days. Thank goodness Fox was there to comfort you. You've been through so much these past few years, you're entitled to a good cry every now and then. Just know you are stronger than you think, braver than you believe, loved beyond measure, and the prettiest thing ever (okay I couldn't remember the last bit of advice from Christopher Robin and I had to improvise...but it's still true.) Lots of Love, Stace

shannon said...

He's going to make some lucky girl a very good husband. What a sweetheart. Hope your cry did you some good. They often do. xo

Lori said...

big cyber hugs.

ain't it amazing how kids know when you need that extra love?

hilary said...

oh, sister. don't be sad because then it makes me sad. fox is such a sweet boy who loves his mamma. that story brought a little tear to my eye. those little ones just know when we need some love.

Jill said...

this is the *sweetest* thing. i love his expression and that he just came right over and held on to you.

Scott & Lindsay said...

again ... lump in my throat. emotional week. so glad foxy was there to bring it all out and prolly make you feel better afterward. bless his heart.

jill said...

oh my gosh! i just got a little teary eyed reading this post! i hope you had a better day today. and i'm so glad fox was there to give you a big hug when you needed it! and if you need another one, im here for ya :)

Noelle said...

know those days. hate those days. but love those moments. pudgy arms and the smell of baby always make the pain go away. love you, girl.

mandalynette said...

foxman IS a wise old soul. he knew exactly what his momma needed. sweetheart! i hate the sob fits. sometimes you just need a good cry.

Jaime said...

Those little times are what make all the junky ones totally worth it. Bless your heart!

Chelsi said...

() Hugs!!! You ok chief? I'm glad you had the lil nugget to love on you!!

old me.